We all want to be good mothers and make the best choices for our babies/children and ourselves. But what are those best choices? How do we know what they are and how can we recognize them when we’ve made them? This is difficulty we all share as human beings. We can only tell what was good, or what worked after the fact. Kierkegaard, a Danish philosopher, famously said that we can only understand life backwards but have to live it forwards.
For mothers, or parents, this seems especially important, as we are not only responsible for ourselves but for the lives of our children. It is easy to get caught up in thinking and worrying about what we feel we have done wrong or not as well as we would have liked. Rather than thinking about what we did right. If we can recognize our good choices, not only will that help us learn and make more good choices, but it will also help us feel more confident in our mothering.
A good way of doing this is to end the day by thinking of three things that had gone well, that had made you smile or that you had enjoyed. It is too easy to focus on all the things that didn’t go well that we forget to treasure the good things. Mothering, like life, is a process of trial and error, we will make mistakes, but the key thing is about learning from them and building our confidence. Each day is a new beginning, a new opportunity to start again.